Sarah's Version:
Our story begins at Nick Hluchaniuk's 21st birthday party. I was heading there with Ashlee to wish our fellow Kmart Employee a quick 'Happy Birthday' and then we were going to leave straight away.
Talk about awkward. Not knowing anyone except for Ashlee and Nick I soon found myself hovering at the bar (some of you wouldn't be surprised with that) and at this point this funny looking guy came up to me and started blabbering on about all sorts of crap.
I dont remember the whole conversation (I think most of it revolved around cricket) and at one point it came up that I came from Bagdad. Wow. Big mistake letting that one slip.
I didn't even know this guy's name and he started pointing and laughing incredibly loudly saying "Bagdad! What!" I think he may have made a dig about wearing wife beaters or something, but by this point all I could think of was "Get me out of here".
Trying to laugh his incredibly bizarre behaviour off, I pushed him playfully and to my dismay he launched himself onto the floor pretending to be hurt and crying out loudly for someone to help him.
Seriously - What a jerk.
So several of his reasonably tall and intimidating friends (no I cannot remember who they were) descended on me and I decided that it was time to leave.
And on climbing into my car this irritating bloke had actually followed me and was still crapping on about SOMETHING irrelevant and began putting large pieces of dirt from a nearby ute on my car.
I nearly ran him over on trying to escape such a ridiculous mad man - although in hindsight I'm glad I didn't.
Almost a year later one night on an 11.30pm lolly run to Coles in Sandy Bay, I was sitting in my car eating chocolate when I received a call from an unknown number. Being as naive as I was back then, I answered it and who should it be calling? Simon Whitmore the most irritating man on the planet.
And according to him he was dressed as a platypus or an echidna or something ridiculous and we talked about our prior meeting the year before and how ridiculous it had been.
After this phone call we stayed in touch, mostly because he stalked me on MySpace (Does that even still exist??) and I guess by his birthday that year we considered ourselves friends. As his birthday present we decided to go to the movies and see Transformers.
Whilst we were sitting there stuffing our faces with popcorn I looked over and realised that this irritating bloke whom I had knocked off of his feet the previous year was actually OK and I kind of liked him - Alot.
And I would say the rest is history but really there is so much stuff to tell you about what happened next.
Overseas Trip? Yes
Awesome Baby? Yes
House on Hill? Yes
Things are only going to get better!!
Simon's Version:
My name is Simon and my fiancée is a wedding planning psycho. I have been forced here today to write in this blog. If you read this, I am still alive just and may need rescuing. Bring beer. Girls with beer.
Sarah and I first met at a friend's 21st. I suppose I was that “token drunken annoying guy” at the party (this was my only ever time being said guy). When Sarah turned up she was the only girl I didn’t know. Playing my role as “token drunken annoying guy” I had found my victim, the rest of the people there I knew so they’d tell me where to go if I was being annoying!
She pushed me over, into an old lady, someone’s Nan, of which I broke her walking stick. All my friends told her to apologise but she wouldn’t and threatened to bash all of us. She was a horrible person that night but I thought I’d give her one more chance by marrying her. This isn’t what actually happened, but Sarah’s story paints me in such an psychotic stalkers light we are going to run with the above!
Yes I did follow her to the car, to apologise for taking a dive and embarrassing her. However by the time I got out there I had forgotten what I was doing and just annoyed her some more. At this point I knew she liked me!! ;) Anyone that knows me knows I’m on the verge of amazing whilst drunk. I entertain the masses, people flock to me, and I’m kind of a big deal. However I’m since retired, so no party bookings.
That was about it for a year. I’d done my dash. Tried hard, but had to have failed. The week prior to me phoning her in a koala outfit – seriously Sarah who would dress up as a platypus or echidna pfft - I actually ran into her at the Tele, she probably doesn’t remember this as she is a terrible drunk with no middle ground between sober and paralytic. It was jam-packed this night, too hot inside to breathe and your shoes would stick to the floor – I’m sure there’s a fair few who have experienced it. She was in line getting a drink and recognised me from a far. She called me over and let me in after her, this saved me a good 10 mins getting a drink. I was appreciative that she did not push me over again! And that she didn’t hate me!
A week later I got drunk again, in a koala suit, being cool and what not and gave her a telephone ring. The real ring came a lot later on. The rest eventuated from there… And here we are now all those years on.
We’ve done a fair bit, we went to Europe and took lots of pictures, but not nearly as much as we would have if Sarah didn’t break my camera in the first week! We built a house with some stressful and tough times thrown in to test my patience as Sarah just bossed me around. And we now have the most amazing little boy, without doubt the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He continually makes me smile and I never realised how much I could love someone until now. Apologies Sarah but you get the booby prize - I am marrying you.
Sarah has left out the important fact that we started going out in the red room at Isobar. A classy way to begin and a fitting place to have the Engagement party downstairs.
Somebody wish me luck, she’s out of control with this wedding and its still 705 days away.
